What Your Freshmen Don’t Know

August 23, 2006

Two things funny about this article. The first is that I don’t get half of it because it is so completely ‘mercian. Oh, and I just don’t care about half of them. Here are the interesting ones, as far as I’m concerned. Remember I have 120 frost I’m meeting next week. Inside Higher Ed :: What Your Freshmen Don’t Know

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.

2. They have known only two presidents.

3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.

6. There has always been only one Germany.

9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents’.

11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.

12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.

16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.

19. “Google” has always been a verb.

22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.

25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.

30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing. religious organizations in the U.S.

36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.

39. “So” as in “Sooooo New York,” has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else.

41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.

46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.

49. They have always been searching for “Waldo”.

51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.

54. There have always been live organ donors.

58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.

67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.

68. “Outing” has always been a threat.

70. They have always “dissed” what they don’t like.

71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.

74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.

75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

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